Ok. So the last time I posted, I was all fired up about starting the "Made to Crave" Bible study. That Bible study is precisely why I haven't posted in quite a while.
I would love to say that it was because I became so immersed in the study and the change it brought that I simply did not have time. That it what I would like to be typing at this moment.
It was actually the sting of transparency that kept me away. Truthfully, I fell quite bit behind in the study very quickly. There may even have been a couple times that a Pringles can sat open next to my Kindle as I read quickly through a chapter. Or an open sleeve of Girl Scout cookies....which should bring a smile to my face thinking if the irony of it all, but it does not.
So, embarrassing admission of initial failure aside, there was been growth for me in the less than successful attempt at this particular Bible study.
Not so long ago, the defeat of not following through on this would have weighed me down terribly. I am not satisfied that I did not stay on track with the study and materials meant to help me make healthier food choices. But, finally, He has bright me to a place where I can still hear His voice through my disappointment and defeat! Hallelujah - for real, y'all!
The journey I wanted to take in big, giant steps from point A to point B towards being smaller, healthier, and more connected to the Lord is meant (for me, personally) to be taken with baby steps along a curvy path. And all for His glory and my good!
He is teaching me so much about just how intimately He knows this woman. About how merciful He is to have a way out from under this situation that is tailor made for me that will result not only in victory, but closer relationship with Him.
He is so very good.
It is true for you too. Whatever that thing is that you just can't get a handle on, He already has success mapped out for you. On His path, while He holds your hand. The best outcome you imagine is nothing compared to what His best is for you.
Be encouraged!
Wednesday, February 26, 2014
Thursday, January 16, 2014
Hoppin On The Train
Hey there! I have something that I am pretty excited about starting up this weekend and I want to share the info with you! Over at Proverbs 31 Ministries they are getting ready to kick off an online Bible study based on "Made To Crave" by Lysa TerKeurst. I am so looking forward to covering this material with thousands of other women from the comfort of my own home!
Why am I sharing this? The answer is two-fold really.
#1: I figure one or two of the people I know might be interested in a rocking Bible study - especially a free one.
#2: That dreaded word "accountability". I figure if I put it out there, someone might be thoughtful enough to ask about it down the road. And if someone asks, I want to have an honest answer - one that maybe even shows some physical change and spiritual growth.
'Cause let's face it....if struggles with weight and food were only about the food, they would be far easier overcome. Right?
That's why I am jumping on this opportunity to study what God has to fill me up. To discover what whole is left inside that my mind (and quite possibly the enemy) is trying to tell me can be filled with peanut butter Poptarts and Zaxby's French fries. To be an OVERCOMER! (Cue the Mandisa song in your head)
It is an embarrassing confession to make, but I have been in bondage to overeating - to the "pleasure" of indulging in food- for far too long. I am ready to take the first step to finding freedom from it. And, hopefully in the process, a more permanent and smaller dress size!
Let me know if you decide to join up too!
Why am I sharing this? The answer is two-fold really.
#1: I figure one or two of the people I know might be interested in a rocking Bible study - especially a free one.
#2: That dreaded word "accountability". I figure if I put it out there, someone might be thoughtful enough to ask about it down the road. And if someone asks, I want to have an honest answer - one that maybe even shows some physical change and spiritual growth.
'Cause let's face it....if struggles with weight and food were only about the food, they would be far easier overcome. Right?
That's why I am jumping on this opportunity to study what God has to fill me up. To discover what whole is left inside that my mind (and quite possibly the enemy) is trying to tell me can be filled with peanut butter Poptarts and Zaxby's French fries. To be an OVERCOMER! (Cue the Mandisa song in your head)
It is an embarrassing confession to make, but I have been in bondage to overeating - to the "pleasure" of indulging in food- for far too long. I am ready to take the first step to finding freedom from it. And, hopefully in the process, a more permanent and smaller dress size!
Let me know if you decide to join up too!
Monday, January 6, 2014
So Long '13
Sorry for such a long period of radio silence here. To say that the last month was c-r-a-z-y would be a slight understatement. Good crazy, not so great crazy, plain crazy crazy - it was all of it for this family of three this past holiday season.
Let me just start by saying that Santa and Mrs. Claus are a pair of big dummies. They saw fit to bring our darling girl a puppy. A sweet puppy. Our Caity girl was thrilled. But let's face it - winter is not the prime time to housebreak a pup. Nor is the Christmas season the opportune time to have to keep an eagle eye out for puddles and piles. Geez Louise....what were those two thinking?!
I got caught up in to-do lists and schedules and everything else that the world says the holidays are about. Not my personal best celebration of my Lord and Savior 's birthday. Thankfully He knew all my failures before I have even done them and chose to save me anyway. I would surely be upset if someone I loved had done my birthday the way I did this year.
So thankful He is merciful and fully understands this frail woman who is prone to chase after the wind.
We were blessed with the opportunity to watch two sweet young people make their marriage covenant as well, surrounded by friends and family. It is amazing to watch something you truly feel God has set up from before time began happen in front of you. These two special people have a beautiful life ahead of them. It's going to be a pleasure to watch it and be there with them.
That brings us to the new year. My hubs doesn't understand all the hubbub about resolutions. He says if you can't make up your mind to do it any other day of the year, what are you getting all excited about now. And, to a certain extent, he is right. The stuff worth doing shouldn't have to wait for a special day to kick off. But, I do like New Year's.
I buy in to the "fresh start" business. I make enough mistakes to need to feel like the slate here on earth has been wiped clean. So, by the grace of God, my New Year's resolution is to have a year more full of Him than ever before.
Here's to wishing us all success on that.
Let me just start by saying that Santa and Mrs. Claus are a pair of big dummies. They saw fit to bring our darling girl a puppy. A sweet puppy. Our Caity girl was thrilled. But let's face it - winter is not the prime time to housebreak a pup. Nor is the Christmas season the opportune time to have to keep an eagle eye out for puddles and piles. Geez Louise....what were those two thinking?!
I got caught up in to-do lists and schedules and everything else that the world says the holidays are about. Not my personal best celebration of my Lord and Savior 's birthday. Thankfully He knew all my failures before I have even done them and chose to save me anyway. I would surely be upset if someone I loved had done my birthday the way I did this year.
So thankful He is merciful and fully understands this frail woman who is prone to chase after the wind.
We were blessed with the opportunity to watch two sweet young people make their marriage covenant as well, surrounded by friends and family. It is amazing to watch something you truly feel God has set up from before time began happen in front of you. These two special people have a beautiful life ahead of them. It's going to be a pleasure to watch it and be there with them.
That brings us to the new year. My hubs doesn't understand all the hubbub about resolutions. He says if you can't make up your mind to do it any other day of the year, what are you getting all excited about now. And, to a certain extent, he is right. The stuff worth doing shouldn't have to wait for a special day to kick off. But, I do like New Year's.
I buy in to the "fresh start" business. I make enough mistakes to need to feel like the slate here on earth has been wiped clean. So, by the grace of God, my New Year's resolution is to have a year more full of Him than ever before.
Here's to wishing us all success on that.
Wednesday, December 4, 2013
Mistake #12,356 - Give or Take
Flubbed up today. Just another one to add to the list, I suppose. One day far, far, far into the future I will be mature and wise enough to laugh at this stuff. Just not today...
At approximately 2:06 pm, I was running behind and rushed down the stairs to hop into my car to pick up Caitlin. Rushing and running = no keys.
No keys. No spare discreetly placed outside. Husband 2.5 hours away. One baby girl expecting to see her momma pull up to the sidewalk in a black Chevy Malibu in t minus 22 minutes.
Blessing from above, the school is seriously within walking distance. Needless to say I had a few moments to go over what a bonehead Mommy I can be.
I have locked her in the house - me outside watching her 2 year old self hold the keys up to the lock and giggle.
I have locked her in the car - me outside, in the middle of Fink's parking lot while she was strapped into her car seat and I contemplated breaking the window to get to her.
And I have now locked both of us out of the house. That's not even the tippy tip of the ice berg of my faux pas.
She is riding her bike in the sunshine washed driveway, thoroughly enjoying herself. So, no major damage from seeing her mother huff and puff up the sidewalk with a pink fleece tied around her abundant hips. I will count that as a victory.
Something else dawned on me too....the devil may laugh at my mistakes and my quirks. He may tell me I am a screw up and that every misstep I make equals failure. And he does and lots of times, I am gullible enough to listen.
But today, loud and clear, I heard the voice of the Creator of my soul, the One who loves me beyond measure tell me to laugh too. He has made me exactly the way I am. There is a purpose to my absolute lack of perfection in any realm of my life.
It ended up being a sweet time of reminders of His provision: school close enough to walk to, the opportunity to show my girl that nothing will keep me from getting back to her, a sweet family friend who is currently enroute with my mom's key to our house, and the two sweet ladies who offered to drive us home.
He takes care of everything, ya'll. Right down to this 60 degree afternoon in December. He is good!
Tuesday, December 3, 2013
A Call to Action
Hey, folks!
Please take a moment to pray for a special family that we have the pleasure of knowing.
A sweet boy named Tyler and his family are in the early stages of a fight against retinoblastoma. He is 4 and has just completed his first round of chemo.
Please, please pray for this family. God is working for them and he is already working through them. It is inspiring to read a post from his mom asking for prayer for another family. If we ask, He will give healing, peace, comfort and strength.
Below you will find a link to a site you can help them through. I know you may never have met them and may never will. I covet your prayers for them and any way you choose to support them.
Thanks ya'll!
https://www.giveforward.com/fundraiser/37j3/tyler-shannon-retinoblastoma-fund
Please take a moment to pray for a special family that we have the pleasure of knowing.
A sweet boy named Tyler and his family are in the early stages of a fight against retinoblastoma. He is 4 and has just completed his first round of chemo.
Please, please pray for this family. God is working for them and he is already working through them. It is inspiring to read a post from his mom asking for prayer for another family. If we ask, He will give healing, peace, comfort and strength.
Below you will find a link to a site you can help them through. I know you may never have met them and may never will. I covet your prayers for them and any way you choose to support them.
Thanks ya'll!
https://www.giveforward.com/fundraiser/37j3/tyler-shannon-retinoblastoma-fund
Chasing Rabbits
I was thinking about that movie "A Christmas Story" the other day. I was never particularly a fan of the flick, but my man sure is. Over the last 10 Christmases we have had together, we have not missed watching Ralphie at least once and sometimes multiple times. (Thanks to TBS running it over and over and over and over and over...and over again on Christmas day.)
So, there I was the other day, almost getting excited over the fact that it will be time to curl up with my fam on the couch and see whether or not Ralphie gets his Red Rider BB gun again this year. And then my mind went down a rabbit trail. A fairly strange one that gave birth to this post. Are you ready to get a glimpse of where I went?
Ralphie's Old Man and his leg lamp have a lot to say about marriage.
Told you it was a weird trip. But, before you go clickin' the little "x" and shutting this thing down, let me explain the twist and turns to see if it comes out to make some kind of sense.
The crate arrives, marked "FRAGILE". Ralphie's Old Man says, "Fra-gee-lay. It must be Italian!"
Aren't we a lot like that when we get married? Our spouse has all sorts of labels on them, baggage that they carry with them. And more often than not, we ignore them completely. Or misread or misinterpret them.
We look at them like they are some sort of exotic prize. As if what is on the inside can only be sunshine and roses and romance. We may have a hint that they are "FRAGILE", but we don't focus on it.
I am not saying that we don't walk into the relationship knowing our mates, but sometimes we romanticize who they are and who they will become. Until we can't....and then we have a choice to make.
The Old Man digs down into the crate, hay and stuffing flying. All the while exclaiming over what it could be. "It's a major award". "It could be a bowling alley". And then he pulls out THE LAMP.
The lamp, of course, is awful. I personally would not want that thing in my front window for all the world to see either. Thankfully, my man does not work crosswords and mail them in for sweepstakes. With our "luck", we definitely would win one of those things.
Anyway, back to my weird train of thought. WE ARE THE LAMP. Not a single one of us, in my opinion, will live out our lives with our spouses without looking at them and wondering "What in the world?!" or "Who are you?!" or very possibly "What was I thinking?". And on the flip side, you can bet your partner has looked at you with those same questions buzzing between their ears.
We are fragile, broken, selfish humans - not at all the romantic win we envisioned being. We scrub and we rub against our mates with our words and actions. What is roaming around on our insides rise to the surface and it is not always attractive and lovable.
Yet, we are still in this thing with a choice to make.
The Old Man looks at it, loves it, and begins searching for the best place to display it for everyone to see.
That's our choice - do we treasure this thing anyway? Even though it doesn't look, feel, and fulfill us the way our rosy, love struck minds anticipated. When all we are left standing with is a proverbial leg lamp and not the "bowling alley" we were dreaming of?
I will admit that I have been leg lamp in our relationship. I see it very clearly. My man got one FRAGILE FRA-GEE-LAY woman. I did not intentionally bait and switch, but it happened. Despite my best intentions, the crazy seeped out all over him - between the anxiety attacks, personal baggage from my childhood that keeps me struggling to be confident in how much he loves me, the post partem depression that would have caused a less godly man to run out the front door and never look back, and the "only child syndrome" that pops out in whining and complaining, he has had very few and short glimpses of who he thought I was when he married me.
Yet, he's here. Isn't that romantic? He still puts me out for all the world the see as his wife. Treats me like a major award - knowing all the while that I am cracked, broken, and taped together (thankfully by the hand of God).
I really used to think the romance of marriage was in trips and dates, gifts, and thoughtfulness that included flowers and sweet words. Those are awesome and necessary every now and again. But God has showed me the romance is in the staying. In the valuing the other person for who He made them - even knowing that they are fully, fallibly, sinfully, and selfishly human.
When we do this thing right - with God enabling us, isn't it beautiful? It doesn't look anything like the movies....more like Christ and the church. It's dawning on me (albeit slowly) that there isn't anything more beautiful than that. Than sticking with it, serving when it's underserved, and loving beyond reason.
We need to stop defining romance by rom coms and novels. Or songs we hear on the radio and what others post on their Facebook profiles.
God's got this thing no matter where you are and what is happening in your situation...He's got this thing and He is going to make it beautiful.
So, there I was the other day, almost getting excited over the fact that it will be time to curl up with my fam on the couch and see whether or not Ralphie gets his Red Rider BB gun again this year. And then my mind went down a rabbit trail. A fairly strange one that gave birth to this post. Are you ready to get a glimpse of where I went?
Ralphie's Old Man and his leg lamp have a lot to say about marriage.
Told you it was a weird trip. But, before you go clickin' the little "x" and shutting this thing down, let me explain the twist and turns to see if it comes out to make some kind of sense.
The crate arrives, marked "FRAGILE". Ralphie's Old Man says, "Fra-gee-lay. It must be Italian!"
Aren't we a lot like that when we get married? Our spouse has all sorts of labels on them, baggage that they carry with them. And more often than not, we ignore them completely. Or misread or misinterpret them.
We look at them like they are some sort of exotic prize. As if what is on the inside can only be sunshine and roses and romance. We may have a hint that they are "FRAGILE", but we don't focus on it.
I am not saying that we don't walk into the relationship knowing our mates, but sometimes we romanticize who they are and who they will become. Until we can't....and then we have a choice to make.
The Old Man digs down into the crate, hay and stuffing flying. All the while exclaiming over what it could be. "It's a major award". "It could be a bowling alley". And then he pulls out THE LAMP.
The lamp, of course, is awful. I personally would not want that thing in my front window for all the world to see either. Thankfully, my man does not work crosswords and mail them in for sweepstakes. With our "luck", we definitely would win one of those things.
Anyway, back to my weird train of thought. WE ARE THE LAMP. Not a single one of us, in my opinion, will live out our lives with our spouses without looking at them and wondering "What in the world?!" or "Who are you?!" or very possibly "What was I thinking?". And on the flip side, you can bet your partner has looked at you with those same questions buzzing between their ears.
We are fragile, broken, selfish humans - not at all the romantic win we envisioned being. We scrub and we rub against our mates with our words and actions. What is roaming around on our insides rise to the surface and it is not always attractive and lovable.
Yet, we are still in this thing with a choice to make.
The Old Man looks at it, loves it, and begins searching for the best place to display it for everyone to see.
That's our choice - do we treasure this thing anyway? Even though it doesn't look, feel, and fulfill us the way our rosy, love struck minds anticipated. When all we are left standing with is a proverbial leg lamp and not the "bowling alley" we were dreaming of?
I will admit that I have been leg lamp in our relationship. I see it very clearly. My man got one FRAGILE FRA-GEE-LAY woman. I did not intentionally bait and switch, but it happened. Despite my best intentions, the crazy seeped out all over him - between the anxiety attacks, personal baggage from my childhood that keeps me struggling to be confident in how much he loves me, the post partem depression that would have caused a less godly man to run out the front door and never look back, and the "only child syndrome" that pops out in whining and complaining, he has had very few and short glimpses of who he thought I was when he married me.
Yet, he's here. Isn't that romantic? He still puts me out for all the world the see as his wife. Treats me like a major award - knowing all the while that I am cracked, broken, and taped together (thankfully by the hand of God).
I really used to think the romance of marriage was in trips and dates, gifts, and thoughtfulness that included flowers and sweet words. Those are awesome and necessary every now and again. But God has showed me the romance is in the staying. In the valuing the other person for who He made them - even knowing that they are fully, fallibly, sinfully, and selfishly human.
When we do this thing right - with God enabling us, isn't it beautiful? It doesn't look anything like the movies....more like Christ and the church. It's dawning on me (albeit slowly) that there isn't anything more beautiful than that. Than sticking with it, serving when it's underserved, and loving beyond reason.
We need to stop defining romance by rom coms and novels. Or songs we hear on the radio and what others post on their Facebook profiles.
God's got this thing no matter where you are and what is happening in your situation...He's got this thing and He is going to make it beautiful.
Saturday, November 16, 2013
Uh Oh, Here We Go...
Ok. To preface this post, I have to warn that some of you reading may think that my crazy train has derailed in Kooks-ville when you are finished with this post. Not necessarily encouraging only 3 posts in, is it? But, this post has been rolling all over my mind for the last couple of days.
So, here we go.
I am a believer. My life's goal is to be a genuine, authentic, tried and true, undeniable Jesus freak. I obviously still have a lot of growing, maturing, and living to do in order to truly claim that description. Obviously.
It's hard for me to say that out loud, actually. Or type it. There's a certain amount of accountability that comes along with sharing that with other people. If you know what I'm living for, then I have to be more purposeful in living it out.
Anyway, I digress.
When my man and I first had our baby girl and Halloween came around, the only thing he asked was that I didn't buy her any kind of devil costume. Which, I thought was silly - for a very long time. Like, kinda whacko. But, I loved him and so I went with it. Besides, not what I have ever wanted to dress her as anyway. Compliance is easy when it's not something you were ever interested in to begin with.
He was on to something though.
We put our kids in "Little Devil" onesies. Laugh, if the writing is good, when the little pointy tail, horned red guy pops up on the main character's shoulder in a cartoon or sitcom. Say, "the devil made me do it" when we eat one too many sweets. Or some deny his existence at all.
But, ya'll, the enemy of our souls is for real. He is not cute. He is not funny. He is not to be taken lightly. And, he doesn't care if you believe in him or not.
He is out to distract us. Devour us. Lock us down in his mangy lion jaws and keep us from taking any more steps forward while he tells us that comfort and our selfish desires are worth whatever it takes to obtain them.
He is mean and he is cruel. He seeks to paralyze us from moving toward the life God created us for. From being effective in any real way.
Ever since I made the decision to begin the blog, I have felt pressed by doubt and self consciousness. Worried that the ugly baggage I carry disqualifies me from typing one single word that will matter. Because, let's face it, my baggage is not cute knockoff Louis Vuitton. It's closer to mismatched thrift store pieces that are held together with big ugly pieces of dirty duck tape - just ready to spill out everywhere and leave a mess all over the place.
But for the grace of God. He is so good.
The point of all that is - God already defeated him and his time grows short. Please do not be deceived by any of the whisperings that say "you can't", "you shouldn't", "it's not worth it", "get back to whatever you came out of because it is all you'll ever know" or whatever manner of junk he is spewing that he wants you to buy.
You were made for more. It may be painful. It may be uncomfortable to bust out of the box you are living in, but the Creator of this Universe has higher ground for you. Find out who He says you are and tell those other voices to zip it.
You were made for more.
So, here we go.
I am a believer. My life's goal is to be a genuine, authentic, tried and true, undeniable Jesus freak. I obviously still have a lot of growing, maturing, and living to do in order to truly claim that description. Obviously.
It's hard for me to say that out loud, actually. Or type it. There's a certain amount of accountability that comes along with sharing that with other people. If you know what I'm living for, then I have to be more purposeful in living it out.
Anyway, I digress.
When my man and I first had our baby girl and Halloween came around, the only thing he asked was that I didn't buy her any kind of devil costume. Which, I thought was silly - for a very long time. Like, kinda whacko. But, I loved him and so I went with it. Besides, not what I have ever wanted to dress her as anyway. Compliance is easy when it's not something you were ever interested in to begin with.
He was on to something though.
We put our kids in "Little Devil" onesies. Laugh, if the writing is good, when the little pointy tail, horned red guy pops up on the main character's shoulder in a cartoon or sitcom. Say, "the devil made me do it" when we eat one too many sweets. Or some deny his existence at all.
But, ya'll, the enemy of our souls is for real. He is not cute. He is not funny. He is not to be taken lightly. And, he doesn't care if you believe in him or not.
He is out to distract us. Devour us. Lock us down in his mangy lion jaws and keep us from taking any more steps forward while he tells us that comfort and our selfish desires are worth whatever it takes to obtain them.
He is mean and he is cruel. He seeks to paralyze us from moving toward the life God created us for. From being effective in any real way.
Ever since I made the decision to begin the blog, I have felt pressed by doubt and self consciousness. Worried that the ugly baggage I carry disqualifies me from typing one single word that will matter. Because, let's face it, my baggage is not cute knockoff Louis Vuitton. It's closer to mismatched thrift store pieces that are held together with big ugly pieces of dirty duck tape - just ready to spill out everywhere and leave a mess all over the place.
But for the grace of God. He is so good.
The point of all that is - God already defeated him and his time grows short. Please do not be deceived by any of the whisperings that say "you can't", "you shouldn't", "it's not worth it", "get back to whatever you came out of because it is all you'll ever know" or whatever manner of junk he is spewing that he wants you to buy.
You were made for more. It may be painful. It may be uncomfortable to bust out of the box you are living in, but the Creator of this Universe has higher ground for you. Find out who He says you are and tell those other voices to zip it.
You were made for more.
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